Black women more frequently than any other group of women marry men who are less educated or lower earning than they are. More than half of college educated black wives have husbands who are less educated than they are. These relationships are more prone than relationships among socioeconomic equals to be conflict ridden and prone to divorce. Two different types of problems arise.My parents, it's safe to say are of two different types. My mom was more educated than my dad. He never finished high school and when he passed away he was a nightwatchman for the public schools. My mom worked at a bank downtown and attended college at night eventually completing a bachelor's degree.
One problem is that both spouses may be uncomfortable with a situation in which the wife earns more than the husband. When the wife supports the family because the husband cannot, the husband may feel threatened, emasculated. Less discussed but not less important is that the wife may also think less of a husband who earns less than she does. Professionally accomplished wives may support their family financially, but they were not raised expecting to do so.
Of the empirical findings that support this interpretation, my favorite is this: When the husband earns the bulk of the income, the spouses are equally likely to have final say about financial decisions. When the wife earns the bulk of the income, in contrast, the wife is twice as likely as the husband to have final say about financial decisions. This finding mirrors a pattern that I noticed among the couples whose stories I recount in the book: His earnings are joint, but her earnings are hers. This is but one aspect of the incomplete transformation of gender roles.
A second problem is that professional women with working class husbands often experience a sort of cultural conflict. Although they share the same race, their educational and professional experiences differ and as a result their aspirations, outlooks and values may be distinct as well.
I'd be lying to you if I said there was no friction there. I'm sure every man's instinct is to want to support his wife and children because it's expected of them to be breadwinners. The problem may not necessarily be who's marrying down, but how do they manage to get along with their different perspectives.
BTW, not sure if the right question is being asked by me.