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Monday, September 18, 2006

Rude people getting you down? You're not alone

You know sometimes it's hard not to be rude today. Though it would be nice if someone appreciated some of the little things someone else did for them on this day. Even if it really wasn't very significant. What's touched upon in this article from the Sun-Times was people and their cell phones. I linked to another article about cell phones earlier this month. But this is what this article said...

"While there have always been rude people, I really believe that you began to see the decline of manners with the advent of the cell phone," says Leah Ingram, an etiquette consultant and author of The Everything Etiquette Book: A Modern Day Guide to Good Manners.

"Because people think that they can have phone conversations wherever and whenever they please, they assume that all other behavior that used to be private is fine in public, too," she says.

So not only is the problem getting worse -- it's getting louder.
I don't like it when people put some of their business out there on the phone on the train or anywhere for that matter. Some people need to keep that mess behind closed doors. Whatever is going on is not all that serious.

Oh man here is a good one, I really like this one...

"My personal peeve is folks who leave their shopping carts smack in the middle of parking spaces at Kramer's, our major in-town grocery," says Patti Davis of Hinsdale. "Though by no means a scientific survey, without fail the worst offenders are the people with the big Escalades, the prime BMWs, and the sleek Jags who dress to impress in Chanel or St. John to pick up their daily bread," she says.
I suppose having a few extra dollars to play around with doesn't exactly buy you class or good manners. Perhaps the people with the luxury cars and the designer clother really do think they're better than everybody. Well who knows what the reason for this is.

Now this I have ran into a few times sometime I can be guilty but sometimes even if you're able to do the right thing in this situation people can be straight nasty. Almost as if you did this on purpose and it was against them personally...

Eileen Oharisi of Chicago hates excuses. "I think it's rude how people misuse the words 'Excuse me,' " she says. "If you are standing in the way, I can say 'Excuse me' so to call your attention to the fact that I need to get by. If I step on your toes hard or use my bag to bump the back of your head on a train or bus, the words are 'I'm sorry,' not 'Excuse me.' I think people use the phrase to get out of being respectful or polite."
Here are some whys and what can be done about it...

"People are having fewer face-to-face conversations, so they are simply not as practiced in the techniques of civility," says Margaret Shepherd, author of The Art of Civilized Conversation.

"A culture of mass entertainment offers [children] talk shows and verbal slugfests as debased examples of conversation," she says. "Whole movie scenes are made up of action and repeated profanity instead of dialogue. ... Online chat is bereft of the voice tone, body language, touch, smell and facial expression of live conversation."
...
"As religious membership has dropped... the ability of religion to influence character has diminished," she says.

Parents aren't equipped to raise upstanding citizens, Alexander says. "We have little or no systematic parenting training in the country to teach basic skills, let alone teach parents how to build character in their children. As the divorce rates and single parenthood rates have gone up, children often don't learn character qualities from observing their parents interact. Parents are stressed and stretched thin trying to keep up with life in general."

Some kids just don't know any better, she says. "If you look at the messages in magazines, TV and movies that the children receive about behavior, is it any wonder that they are struggling?"
...
"You can always 'have it your way' at Burger King, but it doesn't work like that in daily life," say Amanda Cook and Bill Cessato. They were so appalled by the behavior they were witnessing that they started a "How Not to Be Dreadful" blog in July (www.notdreadful.com). "When people get all wrapped up in their own drama, they forget they are living in a community. Then the rudeness begins: storming around the grocery store, cutting in lines, honking incessantly in traffic, expecting others to clean up your mess and barking orders at bartenders and clerks while on the cell phone," they say in a joint e-mail.
To close this is something you can do about this problem. How do we stop this culture of rudeness...

Perhaps the answer is to look within. Yep, we're talking about you -- you may be part of the problem. Unsure (or in denial)? Check out www.emilypost.com, for starters, for all sorts of etiquette tips, like the list of top five mistakes men make: "Leaving the toilet seat up" isn't No. 1 -- but it should be.
If you're one of these people that are guilty of this you really need to make a change in your lives. Then be good role models for those kids who can use it. Our kids need to know better more than ever.

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