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Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Black relationships

Originally I wanted to talk about relationships between black men and black women. To be honest I can't say too much about that. I haven't had much experience with women. But to be sure I've seen how black women and black men interact with each other. I've also seen it dramatized on TV and in movies and of course in other mediums.

But a column from the Illinois Leader has changed my mind and this subject is on my mind from time to time. This is as important in how black men and women interact with each other Sometimes it's not always positive and sometimes it results in consequences.

When I was thirteen I ran into a couple of boys talking about intimate experiences with girls. Just as you think what I mean, of course, I can't say that I took it that seriously at the time. Of course it became a problem by the time I got to high school. There were a lot of ladies knocked out of school thanks to pregnancy or child birth.

When I think about it makes no sense to me. Some of these ladies didn't exactly get knocked up by the most stable men in the school. Those who'd stand by them through thick and thin. Chances are these young ladies are now single parents and the men who helped them conceive the child are not anywhere in sight.

Do you guys see a key element here? Responsibility.

To be sure the guys who do this aren't responsible but in some cases neither are the ladies. Particularly those who want to continue to party and probably only because they have mommy and/or daddy who'll take care of their children. There are a lot of ladies with the kids they didn't want or need that have some issues within them and unfortunately they take it out on the kids. Going so far as to starve them or throw them off a roof along with killing themselves.

In any event it's unfortunate that many women get caught up with guys who are no good for them and then have to live with the consequences of that choice. It's also unfortunate to the good men who wind up caught up with the ladies who are no good to them. For the most part the ladies are left alone to perform their motherly functions, but the men if they choose unwisely will have nothing but heartache. Probably more so than most ladies who have to chase their men down whether they want to or not. Actually they shouldn't have to.

Now let me get to me for a second. I've been somewhat blessed to not have run into these problems. I've been tempted (as rare as it was in high school) but I held my ground. There are a lot of guys and girls who did and they have to live with that decision. It helped that earlier on I decided that I didn't want to get no one pregnant and of course a lot of ladies helped me out with that. But if I can avoid the mistakes so many of my peers and others have made I think I shall do alright. That is also advice I'd give to other young men out there.

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