I'll post this article in it entirety but this is from the Neal Boortz show:
CAREFUL WHAT YOU EAT --- YOU COULD BE A RACIST!!
My guess is that you're not going to believe this one. The story is so absurd, so ridiculous that you just know I made it up. Well .. the story appeared on page L1 of the Columbus (Ga.) Ledger-Enquirer on January 28, 2005. Here's your link.They want you to pay for the story, so you go ahead if you think I'm feeding you one here. (the whole story via google's cache) The story is so absurd I won't blame you a bit. It's your dollar.
OK .. here's the deal. It's January 15th; the MLK Holiday. They're having a civil rights march in Columbus. A woman writes a letter complaining about the conduct of a Columbus police officer during the march. Did the officer insult anyone? Did he yell racial epithets? Did he abuse or shove someone? Nope .. none of the above. So, just what did the officer do? Well, he ate a banana. That's it. The police department sent around a snack van to give the officers who were working the march something to eat. This particular office chose a banana. It's a good choice, actually. A banana is loaded with potassium which can give you a good quick energy boost. A much better choice than sugar. So the complaining woman sees the officer eating a banana ... and she's "deeply offended."
OMIGOD! An offended citizen! Lock down the city! Call the Justice Department! Alert the Media!
Now I know what you're thinking. You're wrong. The officer wasn't playing with the banana. He wasn't holding it or eating it in any manner that might be considered to be sexually offensive or suggestive in any way. Insert banana. Bite. Chew. Swallow. Repeat. Grow strong bones. Just that simple.
So .. if the officer wasn't playing Linda Lovelace, just what was the problem? Why was this woman deeply offended? Why did she complain? For an explanation let's go to Bob Poydasheff. He's the mayor of Columbus. The woman called him and started berating the cops. Mayor Bob (I can't pronounce "Poydasheff") told the woman that he had received nothing but compliments about the actions of the Columbus police during the MLK Day march. Mayor Bob tells us the woman said "No, no, no no. When the busses pulled into the Civic Center, I saw a policeman eating a banana, and I didn't know what to say." The woman then told Mayor Bob that the banana "was an affront to me and to others, including a former state senator" who she wouldn't name.
OK ... you're on the edge of your seats now, aren't you. You know there's more to the story, and you want me to fill it in, right? Sorry ... that's pretty much the story; except, that is, for the woman's reasoning. Here you go. Since it was a civil rights march, and since most of the participants were black, the woman felt that the officer eating a banana was actually trying to humiliate the black marchers by somehow relating black people to apes, since apes are reported to enjoy bananas.
I'm not joking, folks. Believe it or not, this woman has such a huge racial chip on her shoulder that she actually thinks that if a white person eats a banana in the presence of a black person that white bigot is somehow sending the message that he considers black folks to be apes. Now wouldn't this woman just be a delight as a next door
neighbor? Wouldn't you absolutely love to have to work closely with her? Every day you would have to pack your lunch oh so carefully. No bananas. Oh, and I'd be really careful about having any watermelon in that fruit cup. And no J. Fred Muggs t-shirts.
How did the story end? Well the unnamed woman demanded a written apology from Mayor Bob. Mayor Bob unfortunately didn't tell her to get lost. He actually wrote that letter. The woman has never responded. She works at some business on Powers Ferry Road in Marietta, Georgia. Hopefully she's kept in the back eating crackers where customers don't have to deal with her.
This is a strange story. One can't even eat a banana without someone being offended. Some people don't like the words under God on our money and at the inaugural, etc. Sometime when you hear about crazy things like this, it seems everything can offend someone. Then again I'd really have to question where this woman was coming from.